It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
