So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
