You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
