i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i out mim tonsoeep
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