let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Text me some of your sweat
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
