You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's like God shit irony all over that family
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
