Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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