like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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