Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
