I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
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She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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