I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
