good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
