Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
