I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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