I hate all girls vehemently.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
