You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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