so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
