i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
