Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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