Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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