I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
