you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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