i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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