Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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