CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
