Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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