Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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