plz talk dirty to me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
