I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
