This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize