I just saw a hot homeless man
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
