i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
