Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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