I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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