i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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