It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize