If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
