why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
