My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
