I need to stop coming to work sober
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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