erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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