i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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