im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
