I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
