loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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