WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
