My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
