That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
