Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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