i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
