I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
