We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
