apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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