We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
