Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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