They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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