I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
