porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
