Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
